Scandal

F*^#!

Thor's earlobes were swollen with rage as he stood in the doorway surveying the damage. The maid would be sorry she'd ever been born. She cleaned EVERYTHING. Where were Thor's dirty socks? His half-eated orange? His gum wrappers? His hodgepodge of stolen bicycle parts? His peanut shells? His...life?

Gone, that's where it all was. Gone with the wind. Gone with the evening trash. Thor was ruined. He wept. And then he ordered Chinese.

Tomorrow, the maid would pay.

Thortastic!

The neglect burns Thor. It's as though someone has sliced her clean to the bone and rubbed habaneros over the wound. It hurts to be forgotten. Thor feels completely unnecessary. But she's not, is she? I need Thor. You need Thor. Do you hear me? YOU NEED THOR.

She just doesn't have much interesting to say right now.

Thor drives...in Illinois, apparently

Thor thought

These were strange times for Thor, unlike the other times, which were not strange. These were times where Thor's very warped sense of reality was being challenged by stability, and she didn't like it one bit.

She wore pants instead of not pants. She whispered rather than screamed to herself as she walked down the street. She met a kind man and did not immediately fantasize about plunging her fist into his chest and pulling out whatever vital organ she could grab.

It seemed so odd, this new normal.

It was a Tuesday and she had yet to bite her toenails. Someone held open the door and she said thank you. The phone rang and she did not answer it with a belch. She did not eat her own dandruff. She did not sniff the other occupants of the elevator. She smiled and ate dinner with a fork and chatted about the lousy weather.

Oh, to be not normal again. How Thor craved it. How lost she was.

Thor in Love

No, dammit. It wasn't OK. Thor had suffered liars before, bought that whole bit about the moon's cheesiness and the fairy who collects teeth (which, let's face it, is just repulsive), but now this man was looking her in the eye and telling her how beautiful she was(!), and Thor had finally had enough. She pulled out her switchblade and plunged it into his gut. He fell to the ground, the bouquet of roses going down with him, and Thor felt the deepest satisfaction she'd ever known.

Thor is a puzzle

Jesus, what a pain. Another amputation. They were routine by now for Thor -- first the thumb, then the big toe, an ear, an elbow. Now they wanted to carve out the belly button, just go at it with an ice cream scoop, and Thor no longer had the energy to object. Take it, she said. Take it all. So pop went the navel, and Thor left the office without the knot in her stomach.