Most of the time, Thor didn't care. About anything or anyone, anywhere. It's not that she didn't want to care--she just couldn't. She didn't know how. In fact, she didn't know how to know how.
Thor had very little awareness of her own existence, let alone that of anybody else. Most of the time, she simply assumed she did not exist.
Now, this was not such an outlandish outlook. Thor had her reasons, or rather, the lack of reasoning. And for this reason, she could only conclude the aforementioned conclusion: Thor did not exist.
Sometimes, Thor liked to experiment with her nonexistence. She would sit all alone in her pitch-dark padded room and scream at the top of her lungs. No one answered. Thor did not exist. She would beat with both fists on the padded door with the teeny tiny window. The door didn't budge. Thor did not exist. She would hold her breath until she was about to burst, but she didn't die, because she did not exist.
When Thor revived after passing out from asphyxia for the 33rd time, she realized something about herself. She did exist. Because Thor was ape-shit crazy, which she understood in these rare moments of clarity, her existence was a very pitiful one. Thor was depressed. Thor needed a drink.
She stood and strode calmly across the padded room to the padded door with the teeny tiny window to the outside world, turned the knob, and walked out, leaving her nonexistence alone in the dark.
"Good morning, Thor," her mother called brightly as Thor entered the kitchen.
"Do we have any chicken juice?" Thor asked.
"No, honey..." Thor's mom replied hesitantly, her smile frozen in place as she mourned life before Thor.
"I'm going out," Thor announced, and she whipped around and stomped back to her room.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Thor Struggles With Omniscience
Thor awoke with a yawn and stretched languidly as she wiped the sleep gunk from her eyes with her left hand. The new drugs were working--she had finally gotten a decent night's sleep. Thor felt refreshed. Thor felt relaxed. Thor felt rejuvenated. Thor felt rested.
Thor felt alarmed!
It was happening again. The narration. Thor's life was unfolding before her as a series of events with complex angles even she could scarcely identify. How was it that this person or persons unknown could know? How could they know what she was doing, what she was thinking, what she was feeling? Could the narrators see her? Hear her? Smell her? Clearly they could read her mind, her hopelessly twisted, helplessly demented mind. Perhaps this said more about their mental states than hers, but nonetheless, off topic...
Thor was frightened. And quite peeved. Who was this all-seeing, all-knowing being telling her story? How did he/she/it/they know that she stretched languidly upon waking? Maybe she wanted to stretch...linguini! Did anyone ever consider that possibility? No. They just orchestrated Thor's comings and goings and doings and sayings on a whim.
Thor knew she would have to take action, to rebel against the self-appointed gods of her universe. No more would she laze through her days as a complacent marionette. She would seize control of her surroundings to protect her livelihood from these intrusive oppressors. She would rise up. She would defend. She would take her little yellow pill and forget this whole mess, and all would be well in her world.
Thor felt alarmed!
It was happening again. The narration. Thor's life was unfolding before her as a series of events with complex angles even she could scarcely identify. How was it that this person or persons unknown could know? How could they know what she was doing, what she was thinking, what she was feeling? Could the narrators see her? Hear her? Smell her? Clearly they could read her mind, her hopelessly twisted, helplessly demented mind. Perhaps this said more about their mental states than hers, but nonetheless, off topic...
Thor was frightened. And quite peeved. Who was this all-seeing, all-knowing being telling her story? How did he/she/it/they know that she stretched languidly upon waking? Maybe she wanted to stretch...linguini! Did anyone ever consider that possibility? No. They just orchestrated Thor's comings and goings and doings and sayings on a whim.
Thor knew she would have to take action, to rebel against the self-appointed gods of her universe. No more would she laze through her days as a complacent marionette. She would seize control of her surroundings to protect her livelihood from these intrusive oppressors. She would rise up. She would defend. She would take her little yellow pill and forget this whole mess, and all would be well in her world.
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