Today was not a day of reflection, a moment to gaze at his graying and wrinkled family across the table and thank them for standing by him when he robbed the dollar store of five bottles of off-brand shampoo and a candle that smelled like a decaying coconut and the entire contents of the cash register, $11.17. Today was not a time to express gratitude that his mother kept quiet the morning Thor stumbled home naked, flowers in his hair, bacon grease slathered over his bruised body. Today was not about the clown whose ass he kicked at the neighborhood carnival, the one with the fat tear drawn on his cheek and those stupid rainbow pants that hung dangerously close to his butt crack. PULL UP YOUR PANTS, YOU PERVERT CLOWN! Today he wouldn't even mention the hostage situation with the weather man on the 6 o'clock news, the time he hogtied Dirk Storm and demanded that the abuse of the guinea pigs down at Bob's Exotic Animal Factory had to stop. FREE THE GUINEAS, DIRK! ONLY YOU CAN SAVE THE GUINEAS!
No, today was not about giving thanks, or Thanksgiving, or bail money. Today was good for just one thing.
Thor dipped his head into the bowl of gravy while his family looked away.
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2 comments:
Good God, I hope my laughter didn't wake anyone.
TOMROHT
I'm just trying to keep up with you, Tom. Your turn.
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